Scroll through any gay escort site and you’ll be amazed by the amount of services offered. Scattered across the UK are thousands of men with detailed profiles explaining exactly what they will and won’t do—from fisting and caning to striptease and cuddling. Think of it as ordering your perfect six-inch Subway sub, only sexier—and judging by the pictures on some profiles, probably closer to a foot long.
This click-and-go approach might suggest a lack of intimacy, but scan the small print and you’ll find a handful of men offering a more specialized service: "sober sex"—basically a combination of sex work, therapy, and guerrilla rehab intended to steer clients away from "H&H" (high and horny) fun and toward the unbridled joy of a clear-headed orgasm.
This idea of sex workers as makeshift therapists is nothing new. Popular services like the "girlfriend experience" are more geared toward conversation and connection than they are straight-up fucking; last year, Annie Lord interviewed a series of cam girls for VICE about the emotional labor involved in their work, which could sometimes involve dealing with overbearing and potentially dangerous clients. "Sex work" is a broad category that’s often under-explored—although landmark books like Revolting Prostitutes are changing this—allowing the emotional heavy lifting often performed by sex workers to be swept under the rug.
"Sober sex" is one of the most literal manifestations of sex work as therapy, and one that's particularly needed by LGBTQ communities. Read more via VICE